How to be a terrible bike racer 101

Step 1:


Live in Wisconsin.



Notice the proximity to Canada.







Step 2:


Own a pair of XC skis.


Try to ski on a day where it snows more than 6 inches.


Wear a bright orange jersey.






Step 3:


Get laughed at by various 4th graders after doing a yard sale trying to take a jump at 10 mph.


Try to take pictures upside down.


Fall on your face numerous times.






Did I mention that it's cold here?