Oh my God--why didn't someone tell me I was shouldering the bike totally wrong!
Now I know I can't run--but seriously, it's 100x easier if you shoulder the bike correctly....!
I know all you cross hammerheads are sitting there now, chuckling to yourselves--bastards. It only took 3 embarrasing races for me to figure it out. Wow, I'm in college. Amazing what the brain can do when I use it.