Cage match

I star as myself in:

Baumann vs. Gilman St. Parking Gate #1

It was a cool Sunday evening; the air was crisp and stung my skin as it wisped across my face. The night was unusually dark on the Madison campus. Usually the campus streets are flooded with students at 9pm, but on this particular day the roads and sidewalks were empty.
I was in my car, minding my own business, searching for the elusive 408 N Henry street, home of the illustrious Steven Craig Scholzen and his nimble sidekick Tyrone. Not successful in finding a parking location for my sporty turbocharged 93 Ford Taurus, I ducked into a temporary parking spot off the intersection of Gilman and Henry street. A perfectly harmless location although it seemed, my sense of danger was alerted after I exited the vehicle. A booming roar of grinding gears, chains, and metallic friction came to a screeching halt right in front of me--a parking gate had been closed, and I was locked inside!

Thinking not much of this predicament, I went about my business and deposited my coffee fundraiser checks in the Scholzen's drop box. Nary a word passed out of my lips during this time, and I returned to my vehicle without considering the action and danger that awaited me.

It was time--I proceeded to deposit my sporting car machine directly in front of the gilman st. parking gate #1 and shout to the best, "open sesame!" Unfortunately my vocal accusations of shame and dishonor did not shake the willpower of this immense, soulless beast of iron standing in front of me. It proceeded to continually mock me with loud bangs and clangs until I could no longer bear the audible torture--I parked my vehicle and scouted the area.

After 20 minutes of searching, and left with no other options, I began to attack the beast with my fists and legs, giving it the most raging fit of agony that I have ever shelled out off the bike. But alas--Gilman street parking gate #1 prevailed. It was time to be getting the smarts out of my back pocket and into my head.

I returned to the cruiser and became incognito. The light blue (but sometimes grey) tint of the Taurus provided the ideal protection from the constant beaming gaze of the parking gate. I waited, the most patiently that I have ever waited in my life! It was the pain and agony of climbing 1000 mountain passes in the same day kind of hurt that I felt in my soul that night.

5 minutes later a car exited the parking lot, and I sneaked out behind it.

Baumann.........1 Gilman Sreet Parking Gate #1........0